Monday, Jan 11: Got up at 5:30 AM to workout at Phatty Natties; MIC tried to get me to step on the scale so she could beat me up about my bad lifestyle choices, but I showed her and didn’t listen. However during class, I listened to MIC pick out all of the physical flaws visible in the huge wall-to-wall mirror. I was in agreement with MIC and she drained my mojo, and left me deflated, which wasn’t a great way to start my work week. After reading an e-mail from a close friend who is dealing with serious health issues, I pulled myself out my self-absorbed funk and extended sincere prayers for her health and asked other close friends to join me.
Tuesday, Jan 12: Up early and got on the treadmill; MIC distracted me by focusing on all the areas that jiggled while I ran. I turned up my ipod to drown out her nagging voice. I sent an e-mail to my dad to wish him a happy birthday in the morning and had good intentions of following up with a phone call in the evening. The reality was after being distracted with managing after school activities/homework, playing
Wednesday, Jan 13- Thurs, Jan 14: Headache, sore throat, back ache. MIC blamed it on my poor food choices and overall unhealthy habits. I retaliated by researching body cleanse options after sleeping most of the afternoon.
Friday, Jan 15: A day of ups and downs… Down: my back still ached, so didn’t get up to go for a run; MIC called me lazy. Up: seeing the beautiful hoar frost decorating everything outdoors. Up: I heard positive news from my girlfriend’s husband that her surgery had gone well and prognosis for being cancer-free was very high. Up: meeting close friends for lunch. Down: finding out about life changes one of my BFF’s is facing, mostly because MIC was shouting in my ear about how I would be affected. Hush up, MIC, I am trying to concentrate and offer support!
Saturday, Jan 16: I started a new crochet project, but ran out of yarn. MIC gloated by taunting “I told you so!” in my ear. My mom made a surprise trip to our house in the morning, and Abby & I got to go shopping with her. Didn’t find any yarn for my crochet project (MIC kept up her “I told you so.”) I tried on a bunch of coats at Herbergers, but MIC found something wrong about almost all of them. I have found that MIC really thrives on the power of a mirror. Luckily, my mom was able to drown out MIC’s nagging voice and helped me to select a really cute option.
Sunday, Jan 17: I would say this was the best day of the week for me. Our family attended Mass together, which gave me time to reflect back on the message from the last week’s Youth Rally. Have I used the gifts God has given me? My intentions were good, but the execution could definitely be improved. When I got home, I felt stronger in spirit and my body felt healthy. The weather was unseasonably warm (33 degrees), so I went for an invigorating run. We were expecting company for supper, so did some sprucing up of the house and tried a new recipe: Crockpot Lasagna. Kippy and I also made a chocolate Bundt cake. It got an F for its mangled appearance, but thankfully still tasted OK. Our company wasn’t really fussy, so that helped me to keep MIC’s negative comments at bay.
Overall, I am becoming more aware of the negative self-talk MIC does and how much she tries to sabotage my efforts. I read an article about MIC and it offered some constructive coping skills. So for now, I am trying to recognize MIC’s destructive patterns and tune her out! MIC is loud and very bossy especially in front of a mirror. Please share any coping strategies you have for dealing with your own inner critic.